I’m going to a counselor on Tuesday; I’m going to see if I can get in with one a couple times a week. Maybe they can prescribe me anti-anxiety meds.

I’m realizing more than ever how much I need my family. They will always be there, even when my only support system leaves.

That being said, I would like my book back before semester is over, because I won’t be here after that. It’s very important to me. I can promise you you will never have to see me after this May.

Your new girlfriend(?) asked me very politely to stop contacting you, so this will be the last form of communication I have with you.

You know I love you, but I have to stop fighting for someone who doesn’t appreciate it.

I don’t mean this in any sarcastic way, but I hope you have a very fulfilling life. Take care of yourself.

I made the mistake of going back and reading everything from the beginning.

I wish you still loved me the way you used to. I wish you hadn’t lied to me. I wish you were ok. I wish the doctors would give you good news. I wish you realized how much your family loves you. I wish you could make things right with Mike. I wish you could see past my hard surface. I wish you could see the millions of images that run through my head of you and I, 24/7. I wish you could see that no matter what you do or who you’re with or what you’re acting like that day, that I will love you regardless.

I pray for you every chance that I get. You may be “somebody that I used to know”, but you are still loved, whether you choose to see it or not. That’s what love is, remember? Knowing the worst possible side of someone and loving them with your whole entire heart, so much that it hurts.

You hurt me, and you want me to go away, but I’ll always be there. You will never have to be alone. You will never have to be lonely. I love you for who you are, whether you think I do or not.